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It was Father’s Day morning and my wife and two children, 8 and 10, made me a delicious breakfast in bed. I was awoken with eggs, bacon, pancakes, and orange juice on my tray table. Coffee was served in a mug with the heading the “The Meanest Father in the World.”
My wife asked me to read this out loud to our two young children, the mug read:
The Meanest Father in the World
I had the meanest Father in the world. From my earliest memories, he acted like he knew more than I did. At dinner, Dad always made me eat all of my food and that included everything green. Mom was not allowed to lift a finger after dinner. I had to do all the dishes, pots and pans and even clean up the kitchen.
My Father insisted on knowing where I was at all times. I had to introduce my Father to all of my friends, and before they could leave, he had to know the names of their parents, their phone numbers and what we would be doing that day.
He was also a slave driver! He made me work around the house – taking out trash, yardwork, and even washing the car. Homework had to be done before I could watch TV. I remember Dad yelling at me nightly to “GET OFF THE PHONE!” I was not allowed to accept any phone calls after dinner. He would embarrass me by answering late phone calls and telling my friends never to call again so late! I was horrified.
I was a social outcast at school. I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 15 and never during the week. None of my friends had a curfew, but Dad made me come home by 11 p.m. He always waited for me, so there was no way I could kiss my date good night. The lights were always on outside and inside the house, and I could see my Father lurking inside, waiting for me.
I am trying to teach my own children to be respectful and responsible. Whenever I hear my kids call me mean, I think back on my wonderful childhood. I thank God for giving me the meanest Father in the world. The world needs more mean Fathers like mine.
This single cup of coffee made me think of my current situation, or I like to call it conundrum. My wife and I also raised three boys from my previous marriage along with our two children. Raising children with my ex-wife has always been challenging, more like impossible, to say the least. Future posts will make your head spin!
I always believed in raising my children to respect others and to be responsible when they became adults. Having curfews, chores, and responsibilities on my custody weeks. While splitting custody 50/50 with my ex-wife, I believed in raising my/our children as their parent not as their friend. Only to then return to their mother’s house where these same values were not instilled upon them. Yes, I may have been labeled “The Meanest Father in The World”, especially by my ex-wife, but in the long run I believe my three older children from my divorce will only benefit in their adulthood. Maybe one day they will be lucky enough to be called “The Meanest Father in the World” when they have children of their own.
As the founder of the DICC I would like to announce the birth of Dad’s in Custody Conundrums this Father’s Day, June 19, 2016. I will share my stories of raising children through divorce and hopefully you will realize “you’re not alone”. I welcome you to share your stories by becoming a member of DICC and building our community of fathers who love our children no matter how tough it may get at times.
Peter
