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Just the words “Domestic Relations” sends shivers down my spine. Going to court to settle a child custody issue should be the last resort in my opinion. Working it out between both parents should always be attempted before letting the court system decide your fate or your child’s! Plus, I had always heard that the mother is always favored in the court system when it comes to child custody issues. Of course that’s in a perfect world, with two mentally and emotionally stable parents who put the needs of their children first. I never asked for nor expected the following scenario to happen, but it’s a story of fair and equal justice.
My story begins with unfortunately being laid-off from my job only two years after my divorce was finalized. While having 50/50 custody and also covering my kids’ health care costs, I still paid child support along with alimony. I never understood why I was paying child support– I had equal custody time, and both parents had similar careers and earning potential while I was also paying her alimony.
Once laid-off I filed for unemployment while searching for a new job, receiving 1/3 my income on unemployment. I informed my ex-wife of my unfortunate circumstance and told her I was able to pay 1/3 of my support payment with promises of paying her the difference once I was back on my feet with a new job. I mailed her a check in that amount. (And don’t forget, I still had custody and expenses taking care of my three kids as well on 1/3 paycheck!)
Boom! Within the first month of being unemployed I received a letter from Domestic Relations court system with a subpoena to appear in court. The plaintiff, my ex-wife. Obviously there was no compassion for my situation. Even though I assured her of my intentions to pay her full (including arrears) child support once I had secured a job.
Dooms Day: My court day was here. Lack of sleep and my nerves shot, I appeared in court with my lawyer at my side. We waited our turn to appear in front of the judge to hear my ex-wife’s case for child support. We appeared in front of a female judge who reviewed our salary potentials and listened to my lawyer’s points while my ex represented herself.
The Verdict: Having 50/50 custody and equal (potential) salary earnings the judge awarded in favor of the defendant (me)! What??? Not how I expected it turnout at all! All the horror stories I have heard of the court system, my expectations were low.
Father’s child support $0 – Mother’s child support $0. Yes, that’s zero! Plus, no arrears owed, if any by father. I went from owing $1,100 a month in child support to $0.
So, the logic I had always believed rang true! If two parents share equal custody, physical time, and equal financial contribution/salary on their 26 weeks of the year, why should one of those parents, father or mother, pay child support? The court decision both answered my question and put my faith back in the system.
Final Words: “This was the worst decision I ever made” blubbered my ex-wife, with tears streaming down her miserable face.
And my “Best Day Ever”!
